Spring Break

  

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    I may not be Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Benson, or Selena Gomez, but my spring break was pretty crazy (that was obviously a reference to the new and awful seeming movie "Spring Breakers"). When I got off on Friday, I was so pumped! This was our last spring break as high schoolers! Okay, let's be honest, my spring break wasn't that crazy, but it was definitely nice and relaxing.. for some parts. I basically worked every day except Sundays and the one Tuesday, which I don't mind. I finally saved enough money to open a bank account and now I have my own debit card! This is definitely a staple point in growing up! I can now online shop without a hassle, which is blessing and a curse. 

   I am quite sad that our break doesn't coincide with the spring breaks of the majority of other high schools, but what can we do? I hung out pretty much every day and just had fun. I watched "Identity Theft" and was carded for the first time in my life. I biked around the neighborhood and saw Ranjay, who obnoxiously screamed across the car from the passenger seat to yell my name. I even saw an old childhood friend from Florida who I hadn't seen for many, many years. I didn't do too much homework, which I should've have finished within the first few days of break, rather than 2am the day we got back to school. I also restarted crocheting and have been trying to make a blanket I could take to college with me. Let me tell you.. crocheting is such a time-investing activity.. especially when you're trying to make something that's as tall and wide as you are. I also tried to give my dog a little bit more love and care by brushing her rotten teeth.. something she hates quite a lot. I usually have to stick her head between my legs and squeeze so she doesn't squirm that much. Then she aggressively punches my vagina.. she's learned well. Overall, I didn't do absolutely nothing this break, which is an accomplishment.

   It's kind of crazy to see how fast a week can go by.. and before we know it, the rest of high school will pass by and we will be sitting on the stadium field waiting for our names to be called. There are only 53 days of school left, but yet we have so much to do. As seniors, this is our time. We still have Senior ball, our last AP exams, Senior trip, grad night, and whatever else. Our entire high school careers are dwindling down to the last stretch and I thank God for everything that’s happened. I remember all those late nights.. or mornings for most of us. Although I pretty much hated all my years at high school, it has truly made me a stronger person. All that we’ve worked for for the past 10 years is finally coming to an end. I truly am excited to see where all our lives lead us in the next few years. The class of 2013 is truly awesome and it has been a pleasure to spend all my years of school with them all.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Mama, I'm Going To College!

     College has always been such a stressful issue ever since I was very, very young. Both my brothers are much older than I am and just watching them go through the stressful process of college made me just as stressed. Ever since I was young, I’ve always wanted to achieve great academic and scholarly success, so I always aimed high.. even if they were unrealistic. My dream college when I was five years old was always University of California: Los Angeles. I loved the campus and the atmosphere, but more than everything, I loved the reputation that came with such a prestigious school.

         By the time I entered high school, I pretty much viewed school as a sets of tests that qualified you for college. High school was nothing more than a way to get you into college. The only thing worse than school was the SATs… the thing that so many juniors dread. My parents had spent more than $2,500 on preparing me for the SATs through SAT prep classes. Now that I think about it, those classes will not help you unless you are willing to put in the effort to learn. Even with all that money, I never got the scores that I would have liked, but I was the only one to blame since I hated those classes and I hated studying.

         When the summer of senior year came around, I just played and played and played instead of starting on college apps since this was the first summer I didn’t have SAT classes since 8^th grade. But when mid-September came, I suffered such an unbearable misery. I basically crammed all my apps and wrote all my essays within a week they were due. I decided to apply to 6 colleges: SDSU, CSULB, UCLA, UCD, Azusa Pacific University, and Biola University. I applied early for all my privates and heard back from all my colleges except UC’s by early February. Thankfully, every college I had back from, I received a letter of acceptance, but the one that mattered the most was Biola University, my top school. After thinking about it, UCLA was such an unrealistic goal for me and realized that I didn’t even want to go to a UC in the end anyways.

          On February 6, 2013, around 8:00pm, I had stepped out the shower and my dad told me that there’s a small envelope on the counter from Biola. I immediately felt nervous since I knew what the huge acceptance packet from Biola looked like. When I saw the printed hand on the outside of the packet, I immediately knew what it meant: I HAD GOT INTO BIOLA AND I WAS GOING TO COLLEGE!!!

         After all the stress and the hardships I went through, it was all over. I had got into college and I didn’t have to stress about it anymore. But a $45,000 tuition is not cheap and now begins the scholarship application process… it’s a never ending cycle for sure. 

Psalm 136: 1

"Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.."

Thank You for the Cross that You Have Carried...

Photo Credit: http://www.divine-spirit.com/2011/04/is-easter-story-of-jesus-resurrection.html#_

"Thank You for the cross that You have carried
Thank You for Your blood that was shed

You took the weight of sin upon Your shoulders

And Sacrificed Your life so I could live."

- Nothing Holding Me Back, 

 Bryan and Katie Torwalt

                   I admit I tend to be an indecisive person, but out of the entire 17 years I've lived, I know one thing for sure-- that God exists, that He is my Savior, and that His love is so unconditional and everlasting. 

There is always this perception about Christians, that we're hypocrites or even crazy for worshiping this intangible being, but to me, it is the imperfection in us that gives the gospel so much meaning. That we as humans, who tend to be so manipulative and untrusting, are able to put our faith into something that cannot be seen or heard and that God, who is the Creator of the entire universe, is able to forgive and love the tainted sinners that we are. So many times our eyes and ears have deceived us, but with God, you sense Him in your heart and soul.

God has made the greatest sacrifice that man could ever acknowledge.

          When people say, “God loves you so much”, it seems so cliché and generic, but no, really! God loves you so much! He loves you so much that He sent his only son down to Earth so that He could spill His blood upon the cross. This blood, His blood, the blood of the Almighty King, is what redeemed and forgive the sin in our hearts. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6: 23. God’s love is what gives me hope every day and witnessing it in my life brings me so much joy.

          One thing I truly am grateful for is the relationship I have with my mom now. A year ago, I wouldn’t have ever thought of giving my mom a hug or even acknowledging her as my mom, but now I thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful mom. As I grew up, my mom tended to be very abusive, verbally and physically. She would whip me with wooden sticks until they broke, pull my hair, scream at me, and even kick me out of the house. My mom wasn’t an alcoholic or mentally insane, but she had a really bad temper. I grew to really hate my mother. I hated her so much that I even fantasized about grabbing a knife in the kitchen and stabbing her in the heart. To me, she would never be someone I would ever love. Although over time, my mom trusted me to discipline myself, I never let go of all the resentment I had towards her. In my mind, she wasn’t my mom and I promised to hate her as long as I lived. But God saw the heartache in my heart during a retreat in my junior year and constantly told me that I had to forgive my mom. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6: 14-15) During one of the seminars, one of the counselors shared about how his family conflict and how his abusive and alcoholic father was transformed by the love of God. After personally talking to him, I finally decided that I would forgive my mom since God had forgiven me so many times before. Although it was not easy, I humbly came to God that night and asked Him to give me the love that He embraced for all His children. That night, I met God in a new way and after truly forgiving my mom, my soul felt at peace—a kind of peace that was not mundane. One year later, my mother and I have a loving relationship which was shaped my God’s own hands and I am truly grateful to God for all that He has done.

          I am in no way trying to offend any other religion or trying to convert anyone. This blog is just a journal of my walk with Christ and my way of documenting all the things that God has blessed me with. I am excited to work on this blog as the rest of senior year elapses and am excited to see how God works in all of lives before we all leave for college. God bless you all and have a wonderful day. J

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." 

Psalm 118:24